What I Wish I'd Known
…that the grief of widowhood weighs heavy. I took my place in this messy club of loss and grief the night of October 6th., 2020 when my husband drew his last breath. I remember thinking when he went into the hospital four months prior on a balmy June morning that it was only a temporary setback; he had seen many a hospital stay and always came home feistier and with more determination than ever to keep pressing forward. About midway through, things began to show themselves differently and the gnawing sensation in the pit of my stomach left me with an uneasiness I had never known. It was a twisting, burning, hollow feeling, telling me that something about this time would be final. It was a feeling that I would push down and do my best to ignore until one phone call would slap me awake and force me to deal with it… But I’m getting ahead of myself. I watched as the EMTs brought my husband, sedated for the three hour drive, into our dining room. I tried to look away as he was removed...